With Cheers, Tears, and Ringing Bells, Supporters Celebrate Camp Milestones
Scores of children are impacted every year by the legacies of two of our nurses.
Children's Bereavement Program staff and supporters recently celebrated the 30th anniversary of Camp Francis and the 15th anniversary of Darcy's Hope and honored the visionary folks behind the camps.
Camp Francis was established by nurse Carol Holoboff and named for her son, Francis. who died three years before the first camp. Darcy's Hope is named for Darcy Dengel, a Camp Francis volunteer and a flight nurse who died in a Mercy Flight crash in 2007.
"You don't often get to see a dream come to fruition," Dawn O'Leary, Darcy's sister, said. "Tragedy propelled this, but it is Darcy's dream come true."
Dawn is a volunteer at both camps, and her son, Jackson, turned to Camp Francis as he struggled to cope with losing his grandmother.
Jackson, now a Great Falls High School freshman, said camp is a chance to be with people who understand what you're going through, to have fun in nature, and to feel better.
Carol Holoboff's husband, Sydney, said Carol would be so proud to be remembered at the event and that the program carries on its good work.
"She was a very caring person, very passionate about the program, and belligerent about getting things done. When she wanted to start this, she was full bore. It was a lot of work, and people looked down on the idea, but she got it started, and it just kept growing," he said. "When Carol lost her son, she felt like it was her destiny to help others grieve."
Carol's vision of a healing space for children "so they know they aren't alone and that we can embrace all the parts of grief" held strong, said Camp Director Kathy Van Tighem.
One year, Carol was celebrating a birthday at camp when a little girl asked, "How old does she get to be?"
The adult welcoming her was confused until the girl added, "My mom got to be 27 and then she died in a car crash holding me ..." Carol overheard her comment, put an arm around her, and bent to listen to her story.
"There is an innate desire to share their stories," Kathy said.
During the past 30 years, Camp Francis has served 840 campers thanks to 223 volunteers who have given 204,750 volunteer hours. Darcy's Hope has served 375 teens thanks to 56 volunteers contributing 52,500 volunteer hours. This year saw the highest number of applicants yet.
Child psychologist Chris Southall has been part of the camp since 1999 but resisted involvement at first because it sounded so wild and exhausting. Once he went, he was hooked.
He celebrated the "Camp Francis miracle," where children smile for the first time since their loss and where they unpack sadness and load up on happiness, as one girl put it.
He recalled a boy who had blamed himself for his dad's death for five years, not understanding what had really happened. When the boy learned the truth and that he wasn't to blame, he told Chris, "I feel like a hundred thousand pound weight just came off my shoulders.” They've learned from campers how many carry guilt and now have sessions about that issue.
Another boy wouldn't participate and was a constant behavior problem until a ceremony moved him to tears and a teen counselor held him as they sobbed together. He cried with Chris, too, and the healing began. A girl connected with another girl who also lost her dad to suicide and said, "I can tell her things I can't even tell my best friend."
"It's a win for the kids - so healing and powerful. It’s a win for volunteers. it’s a win for the community," Chris said. "Not only do the kids get to be heard and validated, but they also get to give support.”
Teen volunteers and founding volunteers were part of the crowd at the anniversary event, and Chris celebrated their commitments and that some day the young volunteers would take the reins.
"Here's to the next 30 years," he said.
